still not dead, still not queen

One has one's bad days, and one has one's good days. Sometimes one gets crapped on by stupid birds. Sometimes one gets one's finger perforated by some dangerous-looking metal bits while trying to fold down the ironing board.
Perhaps one chooses to console oneself by buying and then rapidly gobbling down an 8-pack of meringue nests and some shortbread. But such are the realities of life.