Runner of Miles

Alternative title: "How can I be this bad at exercise, like, seriously?"

I am not a particularly fit individual. I hate running, but I do it because:

a) it's free
b) I already had the shoes
c) the dog needs walking anyway, and
d) CAKE.

This Friday, for the first time since I started this whole thing in November, I attempted a dogless run.

Now, the benefits of running with someone who never gets tired are fairly obvious. You get pulled along at a reasonably steady pace, but with frequent short stops for the dog to do dog things, and for you to pretend you're stretching when you're actually trying to get your breath back and not fall over.

My stamina is a joke. It's not even a funny joke! So I really need those stops, and I can't afford to go too fast. With this in mind, you can imagine what happens when I don't have my running buddy: everything goes straight to hell on a tricycle.

Excessive optimism + far too upbeat a song = instant heart failure.

The only thing to do in such a situation is to master the I-was-just-going-for-a-walk-anyway-look, and hope that no one witnessed your enthusiastic three-minute sprint followed by a leisurely stroll through the park (with lots of extra nonchalance).

Sigh.
On the plus side, on my walk I came across a bunch of uprooted trees, and climbed all over them, and it was awesome.