LOCKER OF CAPS

Sometimes I think in all caps. I also like to imagine that my dog thinks in all caps. People get annoyed when the Caps lock key gets abused, but I believe it's the best way to express fantastic ideas, such as:

I SHOULD EAT MCDONALD'S IN THE BATH

or

I SHOULD SPRAY PAINT THIS THING GOLD

or, in the case of my dog, 

I SHOULD EAT THIS SMALL DEAD RODENT THAT'S BEEN BAKING IN THE SUN HERE FOR WEEKS.

All brilliant ideas, all clearly far too ambitious for lower-case letters. Caps lock thinking is what keeps life interesting! Caps lock thinking is better than thinking outside the box, because once you're done, you can spray paint that box gold, and now you've made art. Caps lock thinking is not just for children, animals, and the mad (although I might be at least one of those things).

I would, however, advise against actually eating McDonald's food in the bath, because that will lead to some serious ennui. Probably don't eat dead rodents either? But spray painting stuff gold is the proverbial bee's proverbial knees, and everyone should do it. I'd be doing it right now, if I weren't out of gold spray paint.

I SHOULD BUY MORE GOLD SPRAY PAINT.